Stop waiting for the next house

In my never-ending procrastination of doing housework, I was browsing through blogs this morning and came across this blog - www.thenester.com

As I skimmed through the blog, I came across a post that said "Stop waiting for the next house".  It struck such a chord in me that I had to share this with y'all!  The years I was in Singapore I never truly felt like our condo was a home.  I knew it was temporary and that we would be moving on soon . . . 18 months or so . . .
I never decorated the condo to make it our own.  True, we were renting the property, but I had the mind set of why waste any money when we won't be keeping it.  (I'm also married to the FRUGAL Engineer Extraordinaire - which means all purchases must have a purpose).  It did buy a few items to bring back to the USA, but even that was limited as I didn't know where we would be living in the USA and if it would fit or match the house.  Most expats have more than one assignment abroad - companies know that if you are willing to uproot your family once you'd be willing to do it again!  

I've mentioned before that the Engineer & I have moved 10 times in 21 years of marriage.  There is very little permanence to our homes.  We hope to be in this new home out here on the edge of suburbia for a while - meaning longer than 18 months!
Anyway -  I loved that this blog site said it doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful.  She encourages you to reflect who you are and your family and all its imperfections in your decorating style.

What a relief!

I am a very simple, practical girl! I often feel I'm surrounded by all these creative women who can whip out curtains and bedspreads and have their furniture laid out just so and all their homes could be on the cover of Interior Designs.  It is a little intimidating!  It is sometimes just easier to say I'll wait for the next house.

I had a friend who moved quite often.  She said to me one day that "this was not her dying house" - meaning this isn't her last home.  On reflection however, she doesn't know that! It is easy to think of all the things that will go into our retirement homes, but no one knows what life will bring and we need to make the place we are living now, a home.

I've actually started decorating this house!  I'm trying to blend European, Asian and American items into one cohesive and pleasant atmosphere.  I'm not sure if I'm doing it right, but I am pleased with the results.  The Nester gave me the freedom to let go.  I'm going to enjoy this house and love it in all its imperfections for as long as we live in it.

Enjoy your home and make it your own!

Driving - which side am I supposed to be on?

The whole driving experience in Singapore took some getting used to for me.

I am an American and we drive on the right side of the road - not just the correct side of the road, but the actual right side of the road! - Ha Ha - just joking, but NO seriously it is the right side of the road.
For the record, Belgium and the rest of Europe drives on the right side also.  I think it is just the United Kingdom and British commonwealth countries or former colonies that drive on the other side. Don't know about South America or Africa as I have never been there, but I'm going to assume the same applies.
Anyway - It isn't too hard to get used to driving on the other side.  The hard part comes when you travel back and forth between the two styles often.
Then, one has to THINK - Okay what country am I in????!!!!!

Handy tip for those of you still traveling back & forth: I had an expat friend who said to always remember that the driver should be next to the center line. (Of course this only works if there is a center line and then again, if you are NOT driving on the Isle of Skye where the road is only one lane for both directions!!!  - - Then again, You have to be driving the correct car,also)

The Engineer Extraordinaire & I had a little game with this back&forth thing.  The first person to hit the windshield wipers instead of the turn signal owed the other a special treat - and if it was multiple times on the same trip one got bonus treats! I confess the Engineer usually won, but I attribute that to him being an engineer and his expertise with machinery - It has nothing to do with skill!

The hard part about driving in Singapore was the actual driving test.  Even though it was written in English - It was not the English of a native English speaker!!!!!  Anyway, I passed the test and was permitted to drive in Singapore.  Although, it did say that "if I suffer from bouts of giddiness that I shouldn't drive". - - -Truth be told - - - that was on my test!

If WittyGirl is in the car with me - we usually suffer many "bouts of giddiness", but they didn't need to know that.  I'm not sure why I went through the hassle of getting a license in Singapore as I hardly ever got the car to even drive anywhere.  I walked most places, used the MRT and taxis!  MM will say it "Built Character" - I supposed it did!

Upon repatriation, I had to get a new Texas Driver's license because mine had expired in the years I was an expat.  I dragged my feet about getting it renewed as I was dreading having to take a driving test again!  The Texas driving test is not nearly as gruelling as the Singapore test. Grace was upon me because you have up to two years  (in Texas, if you previously had a Texas license) to renew your license without consequences.  I was two months shy of the 2 year deadline.  This all took place this past summer before I had a house or address or car for that matter.  My parents actually drove me to the Dept. of Transportation to get an new license. They walk inside and waited until I had finished all the paperwork.  I felt like a 16 year old again.   Anyway - All went well and I got my new license (the picture of the woman on my license can't be me - she looks way older than the last picture!).

I'm not sure why but the ability to drive gives you a sense of freedom and empowerment!  I think it has to do with choice.  I don't have to plan my day around a bus schedule or worry whether the taxi I ordered will actually arrive on time.  I just get in the car and go.  It is a good thing to have a valid license.  Out here on the edge of Suburbia, you have to drive everywhere!  Nothing is close - the first store of any kind is at least 5 miles away.  I have to count my blessing though, I could be like the Pioneer Woman and have to drive 5 miles just to get off my property!

HAPPY DRIVING!

Fragrance

Here is my God Whisper moment of the week.  I found this while researching scents yesterday.

Enjoy!

http://www.gracegems.org/Miller/sweet_fragrance_of_prayer.htm

Scent Memory

As a freshman in college, at some orientation or fellowship gathering we were asked to share a scent memory as an "ice breaker".

What is a scent memory?

A scent memory is when you remember a place, time, person or event when you smell a specific scent. 

All of us have scent memories.  It is part of our psychological make-up!  I absolutely love the idea of using scent memories as an "ice breaker."  It gives a little more insight into the person you are getting to know.  A scent memory is always tied to a story.  The story gets you to open up a little more about yourself and share on a deeper level. As a shy person, this would give me a way to step out on a topic that was easy.

Here are some common scents that trigger many people's memories that are easy to identify and share stories with others:

Rain on hot pavement (asphalt)
Freshly mown grass (hay)
A baked holiday goodie (pies, cookies)

I bet just reading those three triggered a memory for you!

Here are a couple of my scent memories:

Orange Blossoms -The smell of orange blossoms always makes me think of Indian Princesses (The YMCA had a program when I was a kid to promote Father/Daughter Bonding - You were divided into tribes and basically went camping with other girls and their fathers - I think they are now called Adventure Princesses to be politically correct).
Anyway, the camp we went to was in Micanopy, a tiny town in Florida near Gainsville (or at least it used to be a tiny town).  Well, we lived in South Florida so the drive to the camp took us up the Florida Turnpike. When I was a kid, north of Orlando on the Turnpike was nothing but Orange Groves for miles and when they were in bloom it was the sweetest smell.  Sadly, most of the orange groves along the Turnpike no longer exist!

Kerosene -  I rarely encounter this smell anymore, but this immediately makes me think of my grandmother's house (GG's mother).  It has a distinct smell.  My grandmother used a kerosene stove to heat her house.  I was on a holiday trip in Cambodia when I smelled kerosene and it threw me for a loop.  Here was a smell I associated with colder weather and my grandmother's old house, but I was in sweltering heat in a small town in Cambodia.

Not all scent memories are pleasant!  I think it is God's way of protecting us.  Like the smell of gas.  For me it is the smell of hot electrical wires - it has a distinct scent.

This leads me to talk about scents in another way.

You - Your Home - Your Home Country - ALL have a unique scent.

You rarely can smell yourself or your home - and I'm not talking when you stink from sweat.  I'm talking about your signature scent.  It is a blend of your pheromones, the shampoos you use, perfumes you might wear and foods you eat.  Same with your home - It is a blend of each of the home's occupants, including pets, the cleaning supplies you use, laundry detergent, the foods you cook, and the building products used in the home.  You may notice the scent of your home when you've been away for a while on vacation, or if you can remember when you came home from college - it was the home scent.

The only other way I can describe it is by Sears stores.  No matter where you are in the USA - Sears stores have the same smell - To me it smells like tires and fabric, might be different for you.

Well, I think your home country has a scent too.  It is unique.  You'll notice it upon repatriation if you've been away awhile.

What prompted this post was the smell of Jasmine and Sunblock!  

Just me saying those two scents probably prompted a Scent memory for you expats!

What place or country was it ? ? ?

Those two scents together immediately make me think of Thailand!  It seems most taxis in Thailand have Jasmine hanging from the rearview mirror.  Most hotels present you with a Jasmine wreath on check-in and most of my trips to Thailand were to Phuket and we were there to enjoy to beach.  For me, this involves copious amounts of 50 sunblock as I am VERY fair skinned and burn easily.

I am going to make a game of this tonight at supper! I'll encourage you to do the same with your family.  You might just learn something new about your spouse or children!

I'm going to name a scent and ask each person what it makes them think of.

PRATA . . .

Cinnamon . . .

Sawdust . . .


For the Christians among my blog followers here's a verse for you:

2 Corinthians 2:14 (NIV)
But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him.

EASTER EGG-POCKING

One of the joys of repatriation is being able to enjoy the different holidays as you know them.

EASTER - is special to me.  Not only is it the core of my Christian faith, it is a fun holiday in the CLAN and in my childhood memories.

We tried very hard to make Easter special in Singapore.  They don't have the same candy there as we do in the States.  They don't really have white eggs (they would bring some in around Easter for the crazy Americans willing to spend an exorbitant amount of money) so no egg-dying. Food is expensive - a spiral cut ham  or whole leg of lamb  - way too much!

I recall an Australian woman, in line in front of me at the market, debating whether or not the rhubarb she was getting for the special dish she was going to make for the holiday was worth the price.  She went back and forth three times and ultimately decided against it!  I was sad for her because I have had that struggle several times over there.

When you are an expat, you also learn what is important to your kids and sometimes they surprise you!

My kids, they missed Egg-pocking!

Now for those of you who don't know (I didn't before I married the Engineer),  Egg-pocking is a South Louisiana tradition.  Apparently, different families have different ways of conducting the Egg-pocking event.  I will be sharing the CLAN's version as that is all I know.  (I don't think there are official rules because there seems to always be a little bickering going on especially if your egg loses!) Incidentally, you can find YouTube videos or  search Google - Egg-pocking and find out about how other families do this.

Anyway this is what I can tell you about Egg-pocking.  Each person chooses their own egg.  You either dye it or decorate it.  I didn't have my act together to dye the eggs, but the kids preferred decorating their own anyway.

 This is mine

This is the Engineer's

Now for the "pocking"  - Your egg faces off with an opponent.  

You tap the eggs together and the one that gets "pocked" loses.

The winner faces off with another egg and it goes on until the victor takes all. (I have never known the CLAN to actually give a prize to the victor, you just get lots of bragging rights to being the victor)

 Some claim there is an art to obtaining the victorious egg. You have to hold it the right way, use one side or the other.  I have heard of cheaters Freezing their eggs beforehand.  And then there are the pranksters who sabotage the competition by using a raw egg!  MoustacheMan and GG had never been with the CLAN before on Easter and had thus never heard of "Egg-pocking".  Didn't hurt their chances as MM won this year's pocking event .

Hope y'all had a fantastic EASTER!

Greatest Country??!!!.

As an expat, I have often been asked the question - What is your favourite or the best place you have been to?

I never really liked being asked this question.  I feel each country is unique.  Each one has good and bad points and you can't really compare.  I also feel that when you visit a country, your visit experience influences your opinion.  (ex. - Were you held up in customs, Did you get food poisoning, Did your room turn out to be a suite instead with an ocean view, Did you have the most exciting ride of your life?, etc.)  When you live in a country, I think that is when you form a more accurate opinion.  There is something about experiencing day to day life that sets it apart!

This past weekend the CLAN (the Engineer's extended family) got together in Louisiana at his parents place.

The CLAN is BIG!  At any given gathering, there are at least twenty-five people (paper plates necessary).  The CLAN is very welcoming and usually the number of people balloons to include neighbours and random acquaintances off the street (not really, but there are always a few extra people included as extended family).  At this particular CLAN gathering, my CowboyBro-in-law(BiL) and his wife, CowgirlSis-in-Law(SiL) came with their kids from Colorado.  CowgirlSiL's parents also came down from Ohio.  For the blog, we will refer to her parents as Mr. & Mrs. "S".  Now we haven't seen Mr.& Mrs. S since CowboyBil and CowgirlSil's wedding ten or so years ago.  My parents, MoustacheMan- MM and Gorgeous G'ma- GG were also present.

So, my parents, Mr & Mrs S, CowgirlSiL, and I were chatting over coffee and tea (for me, of course) after breakfast one morning.  The conversation turned toward our repatriation.  GG said to Mrs. S how thrilled she was to have us back in the States and close to them. I don't know if we will EVER be forgiven for the 4 years we took TSS & WittyGirl to the other side of the world away from all the G'parents!

Mr. S says to me, "You must be happy to back in the States"

I replied, "Yes, VERY happy!  Don't get me wrong, I loved our time over there.  It was an incredible experience and I feel blessed to have had the opportunity, but there is no place like home.  An expat assignment makes you realise the USA is truly the greatest country of all!"

BACKGROUND:  People have said this to me before - "You must be happy to be back in the States" - and I've replied exactly the same as I did to Mr. S. -It has almost become a rote answer!

Mrs. S chimes in and says, "Interesting, Name the top 5 reasons, off the top of your head, why you think the USA is the greatest country of all!"

WOW!!!!!

I was blown away by the question!  I had never been challenged on the statement - most Americans just nod and agree with me!  Secretly, I think Mrs. S is a Social Scientist like me- she must be a tea drinker.  I am so glad she asked me to name the reasons - It made me think and these are the conversations that I started this blog for!

Off the top of my head - sitting at that breakfast table I could only come up with two reasons.  Mrs. S. was kind and said I could get back to her with the others (She wasn't going to let me off the hook, though).  So it has taken me a week to come up with the top 5.  I have struggled with writing these into the blog because the written word has many limitations, the worst being - You will not not read it as I meant it to be read! - Does that make sense?  This is a conversational question and is supposed to move and flow between participants (preferably over tea or coffee).  So, as you read the reasons below, please keep in mind that I am being concise with my answers for the sake of the blog and I probably have much more to say with examples and stories.  Also, in coming up with my reasons, I discovered that they are interrelated - there are threads that tie my reasons together and I found that to be very interesting.  This weaving together of threads is another reason this is meant to be a conversation and not written word.  When you pull on a thread it leads your thoughts or the conversation in another direction.  

That being said here are my reasons the USA is the greatest country!:

1. OPPRESSION IN OTHER COUNTRIES

I have visited eighteen countries and lived in three. One third of the countries I have visited, I would describe as oppressive - meaning the government unjustly inflicts hardship on its people. (Now this is an example of how, if we were conversing, we could go in many different directions - we could talk about the government itself, this history of the people, the culture as reasons why there is oppression - see what I mean? - Also, my opinion of a particular country I visited could have been tainted by my experience on THAT particular trip and what the country was going through at THAT particular time).
One country in particular, put me over the edge.  I could NOT reconcile what their government did to their people.  They had no hope, no way out of their situation.  It broke my heart.   I regretted ever booking the trip.  I'm glad my children saw country's special sites and I'm also glad they saw the oppression too as it deeply affected us and made us grateful we are Americans. I PRAYED my family through the rest of our time there.  I distinctly remember the greatest feeling of relief when our plane touched down in Singapore. Remember, how I said I don't like to name my favourite place - well I can definitely name this country as my least favourite.
I think every American should have to live in, not just visit another country.  For all our government's flaws, it does not oppress its people.  Even the most down-trodden among us has the freedom to change and the hope of change.  This leads us to my second reason.

2.  FREEDOM OF CHOICE

Many may argue that the enormous amount of choices we have here in America is a bad thing.  I'm on the fence on that.  However, I deeply believe the FREEDOM we have as Americans to make a choice is a good thing.  The BILL OF RIGHTS is a good thing!  I will tell all Americans to read those BILL of RIGHTS - get to KNOW them.  Teach them to your children.  It is what sets the USA apart from other countries.  This is what our men and women in uniform defend!

3. CLEANLINESS

Again, this is a conversation that can go in many directions!  I say "cleanliness" because we have access to clean water (out of a tap, no less).  Americans, in general, take this for granted.  If you have never been outside the USA, then you might not know that clean water is rare!  It is precious!  It is a luxury! You have to PAY for it - to drink or use a restroom, brush your teeth, take a shower.  They don't automatically refill your glass at dinner!
This is not to say that the USA is the only "CLEAN" country -Singapore is quite a clean country itself.  I'm just saying the USA has access to clean water, clean food sources, clean medical facilities.
Actually, in my opinion the USA is the most wasteful country - but that would be another blog topic for another day  isn't it nice that I have the Freedom to choose to speak about my country - even if it is a negative!

4. FOOD 

Now this came up at the breakfast table.  I say FOOD, not because I think America has the best food! (In my opinion, Belgians make the most delicious food - See post on April 8). There is a lot to be said about home cooked food - the food you are used to, that you grew up on! However, I say FOOD because we have it!  We have super huge grocery stores stocked with tons of food.  The USA also grows its own food.  And it is cheap!  I know, we Americans think it is expensive and that the prices are going up, but in reality we pay less for food than other nations. Now before we go off on a tangent - Yes - I do know there are people who go hungry everyday in the USA. - Remember what I said about how I'd rather this be a conversation so we can talk about it!  And YES - I do know we are becoming a more obese nation with all our abundance of food.  And YES - I do know we are a wasteful nation and much of our wasteful habits could feed the world.  My point is that Americans as a whole, have access to an abundance of food.

See what I mean - #4 would have involved a whole morning of conversation maybe two pots of tea!

5. CHRISTIANITY

Now this ties back into #2, but  Mrs. S. asked why I believe the USA is the greatest country and so I'm sharing my experience as to why.  I am a Christian.  Our family is Christian.  The USA is a Christian nation.   For all you Atheist/Agnostics who are squawking right now about separation of religion and state - hear me out (because I know thousands of you are reading my blog - ha ha).  The USA was founded on Christian principles!  READ the Founding documents, if you don't believe me.  Living in Singapore, I encountered all five of the world's major religions!

WittyGirl came home one day in Singapore when she was in 2nd grade from a birthday party of one of her classmates.  She had shared with her friends something about what God had shown her. One of the girls challenged her that she had no right to think she could speak to God as a friend.  WittyGirl was upset by this and had to stand up for herself and what she believed in.  When WittyGirl retold the story to me, I was surprised!  I had explained to my children before we moved to Singapore that there are other religions and that not everyone had the same beliefs as us.  This never would have happened in the USA. I had failed however, to give my children the tools to defend their beliefs.  As a parent, I was unprepared for this. I had taken for granted that everyone knows about God and Christianity on some level.  In the USA, even if your neighbour was Hindu or Agnostic it didn't affect your family.  In the USA we have freedom of religion.  In Singapore, we were also free to practice our religion.  Some nations don't give that freedom.  As a Christian, though, the USA is great!  The USA is founded on Christian principles and we aren't challenged much on what or why we believe.  As a Christian, though, that is also a BIG REMINDER to not take it for granted.

So  Mrs. S, these are my top 5 reasons.  I would love to brew a pot of tea and share more!

Insects, Lizards, Critters & such

I am not a skittish person.  I am not deathly afraid of insects or snakes and such.  I actually like watching the National Geographic Channel and think most critters are pretty cool.  I have a healthy respect for the dangerous ones, but realise they are part of the Circle of Life.

As a child, I watched Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom - I can still hear the music and the host's voice!  As a child, I also relocated several bugs and lizards into containers so I could watch and observe them. (WittyGirl inherited this habit) I grew up in South Florida - close enough to the Everglades to be considered sub-tropical.  THEY say "Everything is Bigger in Texas", but then, I think THEY have NEVER been to the Tropics - Insects and Reptiles can be GIGANTIC in the Tropics! I haven't verified this, but I believe the further south you travel in the Tropics, the Bigger the critters become.

Singapore is 90 miles from the Equator - pretty deep into the Tropics.  One would think that being a metropolitan city of 5 million people, there wouldn't be space for critters because of all the buildings and people.  I don't know how it exists, but Singapore is a city inside a jungle with all the wild life that includes.

I've explained how Singapore homes are made of concrete, not sheetrock on the inside.  There aren't any screens on the windows!  Basically, anything can fly or crawl in.  This is disconcerting even for a non-squemish person!  At first, I HATED the geckos. However, I quickly learned that a few geckos in your house aren't bad as they eat the insects.  WittyGirl started naming the geckos in the house. Dobby was the biggest one.  I don't have a picture of him -geckos only come out at night and are quite skittish of people - go figure!



This is on the ceiling of a restaurant in Thailand.  It is  easily 10 inches long!

This is one of Dobby's offspring, I think.  There is no way I would ever pick up Dobby himself - he was bigger than my hand!

This is a Cicada  - I know it is hard to get perspective, but this bug is the length of my whole hand. Cicadas are the bugs that buzz in the heat of summertime in the US.  Well, for some reason in Singapore they make a high pitched siren like sound.  A friend's son called them Screaming Headache bugs.  I think that was accurate.

Spider - who knows what kind - would cover my palm if I was brave enough to hold it in my hand.  I regularly encountered these on my walks in the Botanic Gardens!  Warning: If you do the Rainforest Trail, just after dawn, be careful to dodge their webs. I freaked out one time because I walked into a web on the trail - It was an AFV moment! - The trail was deserted - no one saw me - now, I know why.

Now in all honesty, Spiders do not bother me all that much.

What does bother me . . . and these do NOT live in Texas are the Water Monitors!

This guy is at least 4 feet long and was just a few feet off the path in the Botanic Gardens.  I regularly encountered the monitors.  They give me the Heebie Jeebies!!!
They do this "I'm Big & Bad swaying walk".  You can hear their claws click if they are on concrete.  They can swim - thus the name Water monitor! It wasn't till about 2 years into my Expat assignment that I learned they can climb trees!  Unbelievable!  I lived on the 2nd floor of a condo! REMEMBER what I said about how anything can get in?!  Monitors are all over Southeast Asia!

We stayed on the 1st floor of a very nice hotel in Bali, Indonesia.  This is what I woke up to my first morning! I am on my patio taking these pictures!

Did I mention they are fairly silent? They can sneak up on you!

I was at another resort on an island in Malaysia, reading a book by the pool on a lounge chair, watching WittyGirl swim.  I heard a rustling . . . I glanced around and right behind the row of lounge chairs headed my way was a big monitor!  I stood up and ran away to the edge of the pool in case I needed to save WIttyGirl.
Mind you I'm at a resort in Malaysia - not everyone speaks English.  I wasn't sure what to do ---yell? - I didn't want to start a Panic!  So I stood by the pool and watched the monitor go under several people's lawn chairs checking out their bags and stuff.  They were oblivious had no idea a monitor was right under them!!!!  He finally moved on, but when I turned around  the Bartender was laughing at me.  I asked him what was I supposed to do - - - He said nothing - that the monitor was looking for an easy meal.  GROSS!!!!  EEEEEWWWW!!!! Heebie Jeebies!!!!!

Supposedly the "water monitors" are relatively harmless - - -so THEY say.  It is apparently their cousins  the Komodo Dragons that are the real bad boys.  Incidentally, the dragons live on an island off the coast of Bali!!!!  Do you remember me saying they can swim?????!!!!!

On one of my last walks in the Botanic Gardens they posted this on the information board (Sorry for the glare - iPhone)  - zoom in so you can read it!

I don't agree with the statement that they are shy and more afraid of me. HA!

As I was leaving Singapore, out on Sentosa Island they have an exhibit that we went to see at the aquarium.  This is what happened . . . 

I kissed the monitor - GOODBYE!

Pretty real looking, eh?

This whole post started because it is supposedly Spring here in Texas.  It was 38F this morning!  However, the little green lizards are starting to come out.  One was on my kitchen window - outside.  I like the little green lizards - They are a plus to repatriation and that I no longer have to be concerned if a monitor is going to be on my walking path!